Myth: Managers Can Never Attend Retrospectives

Written by Jörgen Karlsson, Apr 16, 2025
#Agile #Agile Leadership #Agile Myths #Leadership Nugget

Managers can never attend retrospectives.
That’s the mantra, right?

You’ll find it in Agile forums, whispered in coaching corners, even baked into training slides. The fear: their presence stifles honesty, introduces power dynamics, and turns a learning ritual into a performance.

And yes—that’s sometimes true.
But it's not the whole truth.

In this first edition of our shorter Leadership Nuggets, we bust this myth, so let's do it!

A lonely manager sitting and thinking with the text 'Managers can never attend restorpsectives'

Here’s the nuance: the problem isn’t that managers attend. It’s how they show up.

If a manager enters a retrospective expecting to steer, evaluate, or “monitor team health,” the dynamic instantly shifts. Teams sense it. They go into self-protection mode. Learning shuts down. The ritual becomes theatre.

But a manager who shows up with humility, curiosity, and no need to fix or defend? That can actually build trust over time—if the team invites it.

So, what’s the better question?

Not “Should managers attend?”
But: Have we built a culture where it’s safe for them to be there?

Because in healthy systems, leadership isn’t separated from learning. Managers model it. They listen, take notes, and sometimes even admit their own missteps. That’s not intrusion—it’s alignment.

Here are a few guidelines I offer leaders:

  1. Be invited. Don’t assume presence is welcome. Ask the team or facilitator.
  2. Be quiet. Listen first. Speak last, or not at all.
  3. Be human. Don’t defend. Don’t solve. Show that reflection includes you.
  4. Be consistent. Don’t pop in once and expect trust. Show up (appropriately) over time.

And for teams: if you never want managers in the room, ask yourself why.
Is it a boundary that protects learning? Or a signal that something deeper—like psychological safety—is still fragile?

Either way, the retrospective becomes a mirror.

Agility isn’t just about team-level rituals. It’s about leadership growing up, too.
That means letting go of control—but not abdicating connection.

So let’s drop the dogma. The question isn’t whether managers should be there.
It’s how do we make our culture safer, braver, and better—so that it’s natural for everyone to show up fully?

Last updated Apr 16, 2025