The Culture You Tolerate: How Leaders Shape Organizational Norms

Culture isn’t what you say—it’s what you do, what you allow, and what you ignore. As leaders, we might think culture is defined by vision statements or values posted on walls. But the reality is both simpler—and harsher:

"The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate."

This isn’t just a clever phrase; it’s a leadership truth—and a challenge. What you tolerate as a leader sends a louder message than anything you say. Let’s explore how this dynamic shapes organizations and why it matters. Ready? Let’s do it!

The Power of Leadership in Shaping Culture

Leaders are the architects of culture. Their actions, inactions, and decisions ripple across the organization. What leaders choose to reward, ignore, or tolerate sends powerful and lasting messages about what is truly valued.

Many change initiatives or transformations are, at their core, cultural shifts. Whether it’s an Agile transformation or another effort that challenges established mindsets, success hinges on the organization’s culture adapting to new ways of thinking and working.

Toxic cultures don’t emerge overnight—they are built over time, often starting at the very top. Unfortunately, I’ve encountered too many organizations trapped in toxic cultures. When senior leaders tolerate or exhibit harmful behaviors, these actions cascade down, embedding themselves into the organization’s DNA. This top-down influence means that fixing a toxic culture requires commitment from leadership at all levels to model and enforce the desired behaviors.

On the other hand, great culture also starts at the top. When leaders consistently embody respect, integrity, and accountability, they set a positive tone that cascades throughout the organization. Over time, these values shape a culture where trust, collaboration, and innovation thrive.

While leaders set the tone, failing to address toxic behaviors undermines even the best intentions, creating lasting damage to trust and morale.

Leadership as a Cultural Role Model

Employees watch leaders more closely than many realize. They mirror actions, absorb priorities, and adapt to the tone set at the top. When leaders demonstrate respect, integrity, and accountability, those values cascade through the organization. But when poor behavior is tolerated, it sends an unspoken yet unmistakable message: This is acceptable here.

Tolerated Behaviors Become Norms

Culture isn’t built in a single day—it’s shaped over time by the behaviors that are consistently repeated. When negative actions like micromanagement, favoritism, or avoidance of tough conversations persist, they erode trust and morale. Over time, these behaviors embed themselves as part of “how things are done around here.”

Leaders who accept bad behavior aren’t just failing to build the culture—they’re actively dismantling it.

Accountability Defines Boundaries

The worst behavior a leader tolerates becomes the baseline for what’s acceptable. Without accountability, the boundaries of acceptable behavior blur, paving the way for dysfunction to take root and spread.

Why Tolerating Poor Behavior is Dangerous

It Erodes Trust

When employees see toxic behaviors go unchecked—especially by high performers or senior staff—trust in leadership evaporates. A culture of selective accountability breeds resentment, disengagement, and disillusionment.

It Damages Morale and Retention

Talented employees rarely stick around in toxic environments. They seek healthier workplaces where they can thrive, taking their skills, ideas, and institutional knowledge with them.

It Undermines Organizational Goals

Toxic cultures weaken collaboration, stifle innovation, and drag down productivity. Instead of focusing on shared goals, employees turn their attention to personal survival, further destabilizing the organization.

A Thriving Culture Drives Success

In contrast, a healthy culture built on accountability and respect fosters trust, collaboration, and innovation. Teams with aligned values are more likely to deliver exceptional outcomes, both for their organization and its customers. Employees in thriving cultures feel motivated and valued, leading to better retention, higher productivity, and stronger organizational performance.

Practical Steps for Leaders to Shape Culture

Define Non-Negotiables

Identify the core behaviors that align with your organization’s values and make them clear.
Example: “We don’t tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, or a lack of accountability—at any level.”

Act Early and Consistently

Address poor behavior promptly, whether it’s a minor issue like lateness or a major ethical lapse. Delays send the message that such behavior is acceptable.

Lead by Example

Model the behaviors you want to see. Leaders who consistently demonstrate integrity, respect, and accountability inspire others to follow suit.

Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.

This quote is often attributed to Albert Einstein, though its origins are uncertain. Whether or not Einstein said it, the principle remains undeniable: leaders set the tone through their example.

Empower the Organization

Equip managers with the tools and training needed to address poor behavior effectively. Foster a culture where everyone feels responsible for upholding standards, and provide safe channels for employees to voice concerns.

Reflect and Adjust

Regularly evaluate whether tolerated behaviors align with your intended culture. Actively seek feedback to uncover blind spots and adjust as necessary to maintain alignment with your values.

A Call to Action for Leaders

Every day, leaders make decisions—consciously or unconsciously—about what behaviors they accept. These choices have far-reaching implications for trust, morale, and success.

Take a moment to reflect:

• What behaviors am I tolerating that undermine the culture I want to build?
• Are my actions consistently aligned with my values and the culture I aspire to create?
• How do I hold myself and others accountable for upholding our standards?

Remember: Culture isn’t built overnight, but it can erode quickly if poor behavior goes unchecked. By addressing issues early and consistently, you set the stage for a culture rooted in respect, trust, and excellence.

Conclusion

Culture isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the lived experience of your employees. As a leader, you shape that experience every day, not by what you say, but by what you tolerate. By setting clear boundaries, holding everyone accountable, and modeling the values you want to see, you can build an environment where people thrive.

Damaging behavior isn’t always about obvious no-go actions like bullying or dishonesty. It can also be seemingly minor things, like consistently turning up late to meetings or avoiding difficult conversations. When such behaviors become the norm, they embed themselves in the culture. If that’s not the culture we want, we need to take action—starting with ourselves.

What one behavior can you address tomorrow to begin shaping the culture you aspire to create?

Last updated Jan 16, 2025